


Winter of Our Discontent

by Dramaticirony



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Cult
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Character Analysis, Character Study, F/F, Femlash, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kai is his own trigger warning, Lesbian Characters, Mentions of Racism, Mentions of possible incest, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 08:14:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18988777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaticirony/pseuds/Dramaticirony
Summary: Winter Anderson was many things by her early Twenties- cult member, seducer of another woman's wife, a morbid Wednesday Addams copy-cat all grown up, horrible at looking after children, just to name a few. She was all these things, but also a young woman who wanted to change the world; she believed Kai could do it. Boy was she wrong and would pay the ultimate price for it.A study of a short life and bad decisions.





	Winter of Our Discontent

**Author's Note:**

> So I re-watched Cult and had a lot of feelings about Winter; there's also almost nothing for her in the fandom on A03.

  1. **Childhood**



    Winter Anderson was never one for having a “sunny disposition”- ironic because that was a qualification on the job listing for being Oz’s nanny (not that she had any danger of not being hired).

No, Winter was always fascinated with the morbid and death despite her privilege. She was even called Wednesday Addams by the time she was around five.

Winter was always somewhat aware of her privilege- with a successful father as a lawyer and a nice home in Michigan for others to envy. What’s was there to be depressed or mope about?

 

She certainly had happy memories from her childhood- her first salon haircut when Kai decided it would’ve been better to cut his own hair haphazardly to ensure a doe eyed and crying five year old Winter that haircuts didn’t hurt. She remember that was one of her first genuine laughs as she saw her brothers uneven cut and their mother had dubbed him the “village idiot”- a name Winter would always remember.

 

Despite happy childhood memories, perhaps she learned to hate the world in the 5th grade after writing a love letter to Paula Abdul during recess- an early sign of her bisexuality. That little bitch Marci Ross found it and eventually made copies and spread it around, resulting in her horrid classmates jeering and calling her a dyke.

Children were such monsters.

 

Her mother was called and the only one to know about it, she would’ve been mortified if Kai and Vince or her father found out.

She’d gone home and scratched her arms significantly that day in private, wearing long sleeves for the next few days. That was was when she supposed her obsessions with sweaters and clothes that covered her body and markings started.

....

 

Mom had taught her all the ways a woman could be submissive. Their father was an asshole at that point before the accident, but he was subtlety a douche, always belittling the women of the family.

_Julie, you should know better than to make plans without asking my permission, I have the job in this household._

_Winter, you can’t just run around in clothes like that, you’re not a baby anymore; men can’t see you like that._

 

Winter shouldn’t have been surprised when Kai adopted the attitudes he had towards women early in life. And despite her privilege she’d also always had the awareness that she was different from boys from an early age- less accepted to have fun.

One day Vincent was home from college and he and Kai were doing, what was it called? - “pinky power”

“Can I join?” Winter asked hopefully, a mere girl of 10.

“This is something for Vince and me” Kai explained.

“But you always said I was your favorite” Winter pouted.

“Entitled brat” Vincent mumbled.

Kai breathed in and spoke with a sweet yet harsh voice, “Winnie, this is just for the boys. I feel helpless under pinky power myself and couldn’t imagine what you would feel.”

Winter nodded and walked away. She would, of course, be included in pinky power once their parents died, but that wasn’t for many years.

 

Kai’s fucked up nature didn’t stop with something so subtle though. When she was 13 during her first menstrual cycle, Kai took her bloody tampons out of the trash and threw them at her.

“ _You’re gonna become a slut now, Winnie”_ he said giggling.

She was very glad she hadn’t told him about Paula Abdul in the 5th grade. She was glad she didn’t talk to him about anything feeling she didn’t want him to know.

 

...........

 

  1. **The terrible teens**



 

   As she grew Winter realized her brother was the one constant person in her life. He always was willing to talk to her about anything. He was her best friend and the siblings were two snarky bitches at work together.

 

That’s why it didn’t matter that he made fun of her- he would bitch slap the stupid teenage boys who groped her at school if she told him about it.

 

It didn’t matter that she could tell he listened to her while she humped her pillow as she entered high school (she knew he did, he creeped outside her door sometimes) - he made her laugh and she would try to forget the discomfort.

 

Kai had even taught her his favorite past time once she got older, which was trolling SJW blogs on the internet.

_“I don’t know Kai, I feel like these people believe what I believe."_

_“And I’m not a crackpot conservative, but they’re hysterical to mess with. Try it and I’ll give you some booze,”_ he prodded with stinking alcohol breath. 

That was how their tradition of stealing their parent’s liquor and getting smashed while annoying people online began. Winter was a shit stirrer; after all she had to be to keep up with Kai. It didn’t matter that they were making fun of women’s and minority rights when she cared about for others and herself, she was getting buzzed and having fun with her brother.

......

 

The boys had come and gone in her short time of being interested in relationships- when you looked like she did that was to be expected. She sometimes brought them over and was happy to rub it in that people wanted to meet her parents while Kai only had one night stands if he was lucky.

Although they say they used her made her skin crawl- and to fight that feeling she attacked her skin more often then she’d care to admit.

 

High school seemed like a hopeless void of douche bags until Winter met a girl her junior year of high school that was special, Janine Marques. She confirmed Winter’s love for women (not that her masturbation fantasies hadn’t already) and it was more intense than anything she had experienced her first two years of high school- even with the loss of her own virginity to a stupid douche on the basketball team sophomore year.

Janine made her feel special and like she could be happy for once in her life. Those warm lips of hers made Winter treasure the good sensations on her skin instead of wanting harm.

 

Everything was fine in secret until Kai saw her over their house one day. Whether he guessed they were romantically involved was anybody’s guess, but nevertheless Winter got a bad feeling once he saw the two hanging out and giggling together in her bedroom- he was apt to spying on her.

“Who’s the spic you’re spending so much time with?” He asked her with a leer.

 

That was just the start of it- Kai made comments to Janine whenever she came over and Winter feel powerless to stop it. The worst was deportation threats.

“You need to stop letting me take shit from your brother” Janine insisted one day at Winter’s locker, “He’s an adult; why does he get away with treating people like shit?”

“It’s my brother, he’s an asshole, but he doesn’t mean have the shit he says. You should know that” Winter rationalized.

“Are you serious?”

“You don’t have to come over anymore” Winter tried, “He won’t say anything if he doesn’t see you.”

“Winter, you think I want to be your dirty little secret for much longer? Your Latina lover that makes out with you in the locker room and behind garbage cans where no one can see? He just thinks we’re friend, what if he knew how we felt about each other?”

“He doesn’t have to know, why does that matter?”

“Because you obviously care more about _his_ opinion so much you can’t even defend a friend against racist comments, why should o trust you? He could probably murder someone you wouldn’t say boo- hell you’d probably help him.”

“ _That’s enough!_ ” Winter hissed, catching the notice of onlookers in the hall, “Kai is my brother and maybe you’re just to stupid and prideful to help make this work. Why don’t we just end it that way you don’t have to worry about it?”

Janine paused and gulped, “Fine. I need to come out to my homophobic parents anyway and don’t need an anchor like you bringing me down when I need support. Have fun Wednesday Addams.”

With that Janine stomped away and Winter was left alone. Needless to say by the end of Junior year they weren’t speaking any longer and just bitter exes glancing at each other longing in the hallways.

Winter was too proud to make up with her by senior year and they parted ways, Janine to wherever she went to school and Winter to Vassar in New York.

.........

  1. **The Vassar years**



    Vassar from the start was the PC haven Winter thought she wanted so desperately, especially when she met Dorothy and Riley freshman year. As English Lit majors with a focus in women’s studies, they felt they were on top of all the issues and, as Ivy would say later, “well versed in the language of misogyny”. They hadn’t a clue they were ignorant white girls who just liked to party and spout out garbled versions of the history they learned in classes.

 

Riley became especially close to Winter. It started out as drunk make-out sessions that Scotty Mickels prompted the girls to do, but within a few months of freshman year and going far with Riley, Winter realized her feelings for girls hadn’t gone away.

She tried to ensure herself she still liked men- the hot and brainless Scotty Mickels did nicely as an experiment for anal sex and  convincing herself she could be somewhat normal- it was both pleasure-ful and painful. Though when he tried to force a round two, Winter decided it was time to become aware of dangers and keep a bottle of pepper spray in her purse- rape happy douche-bags.

 

  Everything seemed normal until that damn pregnancy scare Dorothy had and Winter was forced to contemplate the idea of having children herself; she never would. She would never look at a small infant needing her and raising it to be a horrible child and selfish adult. She had never really thought about the idea before, but this college world of sex and booze confused her almost as much as Kai did sometimes.

    .....

Home wasn’t that much of a more pleasant place by 2014- her father was in a motorcycle accident and confined to a wheelchair, and from both the calls from Kai and her mother- his subtle angry nature had become full forced rage. 

  “ _Winnie, do you think you can come home?”_ Her mother had asked on the phone.

   “ _Ma, I can’t just leave Vassar whenever I feel like to go back to Michigan.”_

_“I know honey, but-”_

_“Please don’t just think I’m doing this to ignore you and get money later, I don’t know how to deal with what’s going on in my own life now.”_

Winter never explained her feelings to anyone, not even her mother at that moment. Winter didn’t know it at the time, but it was the last phone call she ever made to the woman and she was glad it was at least somewhat pleasant. That she had said, _I love you_ before hanging up.

   ......

“You guys are such assholes, I’m turning you both in” Winter informed Kai upon seeing their parents dead bodies rotting away to brown and bone in their bedroom. It was a confusing time; she had just gotten home for thanksgiving break and _this_ happened. Both Vince and Kai were complicit in it (and everyone thought _she_ was the fucked up one _humph_ ). They couldn’t hide this from the world forever.

“If you do that you don’t get money for Vassar or what’s left of your family; we’ll be in jail. Is that what you want?” Kai taunted.

Winter knew she had a choice, but it still felt like she had no choice. She wasn’t loosing Kai and Vince, and it was nobody else’s responsibility to take her in.  Who would, her fuck-buddy/friend Riley? Or the other members of the family they barely talked to?

“Okay, we keep this a secret” Winter agreed, looking mournfully at the result of her ignoring her mother’s pleas for her to come home. Julie and Scott Anderson may have been far from the perfect parents, but this was fucked up beyond all reason.

 

After mom and dad died, her attacks on herself via self-harm only got worse, a payment for the horrible daughter she must have been in life to have this happen underneath her nose.

.......

  She supposed she should have known it was too late for her even before the election and her world came crashing down. First, there was Judgement House- that man running the torture chamber had looked her right in the eyes and claimed he knew she identified with the “lost souls” he had trapped there.

Was it because she was queer, because she would have an abortion if she ever became pregnant? She didn’t know. But Kai saving her that day from that man’s wrath shouldn’t have consoled her as much as it did; it was just a reminder of how much she feared the world and it would always try to destroy her.

 

Her bits of happiness came and went. Working on the Hillary Clinton campaign and dropping out of Vassar to do so seemed like a great distraction at the time. She would fill in her empty void of a soul by helping a powerful woman come to Presidential office in 2016. Riley and her we’re screwing more and she thought she couldn’t be happier. She and Riley even _laughed_ together; someone else besides Kai genuinely enjoyed her presence.

She had also dyed her hair an attractive and edgy silver color- which Riley said she found out. She was a silver haired and silver tonged badass bitch now.

 

“Want to watch the Zodiac movie again?” She had asked Riley one day in a hotel room in Florida after a long day of campaigning.

“For fucks sake Winnie, what is it with you and that movie?” Riley asked cuddling up to her in the hotel bed.

“It was my Baby Einstein practically; I’ve been watching it since ‘07 when it came out. I was never into normal movies even as a kid. I watched _When a stranger calls_ at age six” Winter informed proudly.

“Well of course you’re fucked up then, but that’s what makes you so hot” Riley insisted, edging closer to Winter.

They didn’t watch any movie that night.

.....

Then Riley went away, after that stupid decision to bring them to her house. After being slapped by Kai for her impertinent remarks, Riley broke it off with her.

“My brother’s actions have nothing to do with me” she tried to explain while ice-ing Riley’s cheek.

“Like hell they don’t. You won’t even admit to him your bisexual”

“My brother says there’s no reality to labels, so why make it important?”

“Because he’s holding you back Winter; he makes you tolerate him being an asshole and I can’t deal with it any longer.”

Winter knew Riley didn’t know the true extent to what a fucked up person Kai was, and maybe it was better to just have nobody because they would get hurt if they got close to finding out. She would focus her life on one woman for now- Hillary Rodham Clinton.

.......

It wasn’t until the election results a few months later that she and Riley had a big heart to heart again.

 “What is wrong with CNN not for giving us a trigger warning before announcing the results?” Winter muttered on the phone as she watched the news with disbelief that Donald J. Trump had won the presidency. “I just...don’t know what’s real anymore.”  

 

She had dropped out of Vassar to help campaign for what she thought would be a historic win for her sex. She knew it probably seemed random she was so worried about getting an abortion when she wasn’t having sex lately, but _damn it_ if _she_ would have kids. They had gone to fucking Florida and spent money trying to get this bitch into office- and now her life felt like it was running down the toilet and her efforts were shit.

“She was supposed to win, is this really happening? Oh my god.” she muttered again helplessly to Riley.

“You’re scaring me right now Winter. I know we haven’t talked much since your psycho brother, well, went psycho on me, but I want you to know I still care about you and you _cannot_ self-harm again and go back down that road.”

Of course Riley had known about the scars. She saw more of Winter then most people, and in a blind moment thinking she should let her guard down, maybe Winter had told her more than she should’ve.

Kai has then sprung into her room, jumping on her bed and promoting Winter to hang up the phone.

“Jesus,” she swore, looking at brother brother’s face- was that Cheeto paste on his skin? - charming.

“You are such an asshole” she told Kai, the embodiment of all she felt had lost her this campaign, all that had held her back or scared her in life. “Did you come in here to rub it in?” she questioned bitterly.

Her brother’s smug silence only infuriated her more. “Get out, get out!” Winter demanded, trying to shove her brother off of her bed.

Kai’s eyes directed her towards the television, where the new headlined Clinton would not be speaking that night after her defeat. The area detonated for fans was empty. Kai breathed in smugly and propositioned pinky power. For the first time in Winter’s life.

 

She linked pinky to pinky, flesh to flesh with Kai’s Cheeto stained hand and admitted something she hadn’t just felt since tonight, but for years.

“I’m just so scared right now” Winter said, draining all of her confusion onto Kai.

“Everyone is” Kai reminded her, once again giving her the (false) reassurance big brother new best and even if he was a Trump supporting asshole, she needed to listen to him.

She clearly didn’t know how to run or control her life, after all.

 

Though little did she know that by giving him full power over her after this night, her life wouldn’t just be controlled, but soon cut short.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably only going to have two,maybe 3 at most chapters. I wanted to make it a one-shot, but that didn't allow for the development I wanted. I feel Winter definitely deserves this kind of analysis, and I'm apparently a writer for Billie Lourd's characters now so I figured it would be worth it.  
> Until next time on this short journey, and "Fly Me to the Moon" will be updated soon as well I think.


End file.
